Tuesday 17 December 2013

The Beach Auction

The curtains danced over my face, its threads caressing my shut eyes as the morning sun rose above my house and illuminated my room. My eyes were still shut but my ears weren’t, because someone decided to yell my name loudly in what I thought was a dream. But like every other day, it was my father yelling at the top of his voice trying to wake me up when I was busy enjoying my sleep early in the morning. All good things come to an end and so did my sleep when my father walked up to my bed that particular morning and yelled my name into my ear, “Prakash!” he yelled. My typical reaction would have been to go on a killing spree, since sleep has always been my first priority. But when your father is an ex-black-cat commando, you don’t wake up with a grumpy face or a heavy sigh; you wake up with a jump, sit up straight, and make the bed with no questions asked. My father expected me to do all this in one swift movement of my complete body, in under 10 seconds.
That particular morning though he was in quite a hurry, which I thought was normal. Till he told me to finish my coffee quickly and come down to the garage. Now that was a sign of trouble, because whenever my father did that it was either to buy some meat that he’ll make me clean or for a run which always ended with me ending kilometres behind my father. Sometimes he just called me to wash the car, which I thought was worse than torture. Keeping my fingers crossed, I went to the garage only to see my father waiting in the car for me.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Vizhinjam” he replied.
Vizhinjam is a beach very near to its famous brother Kovalam, but isn’t as huge or clean as the latter. Over the years this beach had become a place for fishermen to unload and sell their fishes to fisherwomen, who would then sell these fishes in all the fish markets scattered over the city, at exorbitant prices if I might add. My grandfather used to go directly to these market places early in the morning and buy the best fish, which were usually auctioned, and my dad continued this tradition. 
“Are we going to bid?” I asked my father.

This was the first time I was attending an auction and maybe that excitement was a little too evident in my voice.
“Maybe, if we find some good fish at the right price,” he replied.
Since his reply wasn’t encouraging enough, I sat back in my seat and started thinking about the smell and muck I would have to endure on the vast beach. As if I wasn't scared by every creepy crawly living being enough, fear of half-dead fishes with sharp scales that could cut your hand was pretty reassuring. I just wished by dad would handle them and I would carry them in the sañci (carry bag) till the car to feel like a man. I didn't like touching the slimy, pointy and beach sand covered creatures.
After an endless drive, we finally reached a crowded Vizhinjam beach. So crowded, that the ocean was hardly visible from the parking spot. Both of us decided very quickly, not to take the car any farther because it was my grandfather’s car. So we left the car, with only money and car keys in my father’s hands. We proceeded towards the beach, my eyes fixed on heaps of different varieties of fish just lying on the ground being sold by fisherwomen.
“If these women see you staring at their fishes like that, they might just pull you towards their stock and sell them to you” said my father.
“Aren’t we going to buy anyways?” I asked.
“Not from here,” he replied. “We’ll buy it from those boats” he continued, pointing towards the ocean where I could see more than ten boats filled with fishes.
We walked towards the boats, which were at the shore and I looked wide-eyed at all the heaps of fish and the way people were buying them. I could hear people surrounding the boats, yelling their price for the fish and the fishermen then trying to sell the fish by shouting the bids out loud. We passed many boats; some had fishes which we weren’t interested in buying, some had good fishes where the veterans buyers would outbid us at the last moment and some didn’t have fresh fishes. This last category of boats, where the fish didn't look fresh, were the scammers. They took the unsold fishes out to the ocean and made a grand return to make the customers think that they were fresh catch. 
Many boats came, many were emptied and taken away as the sun became hotter and tourists, mostly caucasian, started filling the whole market. They were bad for local customers, because they drove the prices up. 

I stared at the light blue sky and its reflection in the ocean. But the site that grabbed my attention the most, was a mosque built on the rocks with its back towards the shore.  The sun reflected of its top to make me squint. When I turned back, I couldn’t see my father anywhere near, so I walked to a new boat which had just reached the shore. There weren’t many people crowding it, so I went and stood there only to find my father standing across on the other side of the boat. The bidding had already started and the price had already reached Rs. 800, which was placed by my father of course. There wasn’t much competition either except for a fisherwoman who was quite determined to outbid my father. I saw the price double in a matter of seconds and the auctioneer's tongue shouting bids at the speed of light. This went on till the price became Rs. 1800 and I started losing faith in the whole idea of “buying fish at a cheaper price from the ocean”.
“1800 onnu, 1800 randu, 1800 moonu” announced the auctioneer, bringing his hand down and signalling the end of the auction.
There was a silence for a few moments as the auctioneer hesitated to put the fishes in the fisherwoman’s basket. My father gave me a signal and started walking away from the boat, but a few fishermen walked up to the boat and told my father to stay put. They started beating up the auctioneer till blood splashed all over the blackish wet sand. After a few minutes, when they were done with him, they showed his bleeding face to all the bidders at his boat.
“This woman is his wife” they declared, pointing towards the fisherwoman who was outbidding my father. Some people took the basket from the fisherwoman and gave it to my father, who took it with a smile on his face. The mob of angry buyers were surprised, many tried to stop my father when he took out Rs. 1700 from his mundu and gave it to the auctioneer before dragging me away from the shore towards the car.
“You didn’t have to give that money. Seventeen hundred is a lot for a basket of fish,” I said, after placing the basket at the back of the car.
“I agree. But getting more than five kg of sardine which is worth more than three thousand in the fish market, at a mere seventeen hundred is a very good deal” he replied with a broad smile.
I turned my head to get a last glimpse at the auctioneer, the ocean, and the mosque but nothing was visible through the crowded shores of Vizhinjam.  

Thursday 14 November 2013

Love and Laws


The strictest laws give birth to the worst offenders,
Everyone wants to be a hero, so who wouldn't want to be a rule breaker?
But if the laws are eradicated wouldn't we become wild creatures?
These are the laws made not by us, but by our maker.
But if love is free, a feeling, a preacher;
Then why are the laws made to make love a misdemeanor?

It’s said, “Love is within us, love surrounds us.”
This is the law of nature and maybe something divine.
Love is all that we need, maybe even a kiss.
Since it is the hardest to find, the rules have to be mine.
Laws will be made and laws will be broken,
This is the only rule to find unconditional love.

Some follow the rules and some don’t,
If you know you are nothing, you can’t get hurt.
Human norms are many and we are just clones.
Get out of this rut, get the work done and have a little fun.
Go get what you want the most and make your life brighter,
We who go against worldly laws aren't losers, we are fighters.  


Saturday 19 October 2013

My Child

My Child

She was my child, my own flesh,
my baby girl was a part of me.
I had so many dreams of a lovely creche,
where my daughter would study with glee.
I can still see the small hands and the soft skin
in my head, through my eyes, but it’s all just a dream.
She’ll always be and is still my kin,
I wish I could hear her at night cry and scream.

What was her fault? Was it being a girl?
So am I, maybe I should have taken the pain.
I wish I could see her crawl and swirl
and maybe someday see her dance in the rain.
She was taken away from me mercilessly,
nobody thought of giving her a second chance.
I just wanted once to hold her closely,
feed her once or maybe just get a glance.

I feel betrayed by the man of my life,
he loved me deeply but killed a part of me.
Somebody tell my baby I was threatened with a knife.
I didn't know how to fight or where to flee.
With a heavy heart I have to walk into the same mesh.
How can I forgive him after what he did to me?
She was my child, my own flesh,
my baby girl was a part of me.


Friday 20 September 2013

The Best Man

It was five minutes past one o’clock, the sun shone with rage right over my head and the centrally air conditioned glass ceiling of the Renaissance Hotel prevented me from getting tanned. I was having a severe headache despite wearing a pair  sunglasses to keep my eyes from hurting. I was suffering from a severe case of what everyone in the restaurant knew I was suffering from, the worst hangover ever. I had already gulped down two cups of black coffee and burnt my tongue and just when I thought the day couldn’t get any worse I started getting flashbacks of last night.

 It was my best friend Jacob’s wedding and after the ceremony there was a celebration back at Jacob’s place. The whole wedding was pretty boring except for the bride’s sister who was the centre of attraction and then there was the grape juice which I devoured. I regretted drinking five glasses of grape juice when Jacob told me about the party after the ceremony because I had partied with Jacob all through college to know what exactly he meant by "party". I didn’t eat much after that which was my way of preparing for the party and neither did I dance as the bride’s sister had at least twenty guys lined up to dance with her. So I sat at my table taking a video of the newlyweds dancing and shifted my phone so that I could get the bride’s sister in the video as well.
The door to the restaurant opened and I saw Jacob and Sarah walking hand in hand towards me, I got out of my flashback mode and stood up. They looked like a pair of love birds but that’s what every couple looks like during the first six months, the same couple become oil and water after the honeymoon period is over.
 I had called Jacob at nine in the morning and requested him and Sarah to have lunch with me at the Renaissance Hotel at one. I was too embarrassed to tell him the reason but I guess he might have understood. I drank way too much last night at the party and I remember doing a lot of things that I shouldn’t have, I felt guilty for spoiling their party and had called the couple to apologize and also buy them lunch because I had a feeling that free food was the answer to every problem. I hugged Jacob and shook hands with Sarah when they reached the table and congratulated them once again. Somehow I felt weird because I wasn’t very good at apologizing and both Jacob and Sarah weren’t mad at me or at least they weren’t showing it. They seemed clueless as to why I had asked them to take out time for lunch when I knew they had a flight to Malaysia in a few hours. Their cool behaviour made me think again about my strategy and the dialogues I had practiced in the washroom a few minutes back. So, I decided to get to know what they knew about last night. After the pleasantries I said, “I am really sorry about last night guys, I drank a bit too much and got out of control.” “That’s alright Marv, I had already told Sarah that you can drink a lot” said Jacob. “Yeah Jacob had told me so many stories about your escapades in college so you don’t have to be embarrassed, in fact we were counting on you for some entertainment and you didn’t disappoint . The reason we came here was to thank you for the miracle you performed last night” continued Sarah just from where Jacob had trailed off. Even though I hated when couples did that I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “What miracle?” “You don’t remember do you? This is so Marv” said Jacob turning towards Sarah. “He had a bottle of Jack Daniels on his own so I don’t blame him” said Sarah with a chuckle turning towards Jacob. I hated the fact that they made me feel like an outsider but I had to know what they were talking about so I asked, “What happened last night?” “Do you remember Sarah’s family coming over last night in the middle of the party?” asked Jacob. I thought hard for a while and couldn’t remember seeing Sarah’s family last night so I replied, “No.” “Well they did and we didn’t have any booze left to offer them and you miraculously turned a whole pitcher of water into two pitchers of some kind of cocktail” said Jacob. I was shocked at every word I heard and after a minute I asked, “Did you just say that I turned water into booze?” “Not booze actually it was more of a cocktail” said Jacob. I didn’t know what to say and how to react to this, all I could think about was the story my grandmother had told me as a kid about how Jesus had turned water into wine at a wedding. “There was nothing in the kitchen except some water and ice so I don’t know how you made the cocktail and I don’t think you remember either because you were too drunk to stand after you made the cocktail” said Jacob with a grin on his face. “Wow, I don’t remember any of this but maybe after I eat something I might get a flashback” I said. “We are already running late Marv so why don’t you enjoy a nice meal with Sarah’s sister Isabel who is in the taxi outside. She was really interested in meeting you again after you entertained all of us last night and turned water into booze” said Jacob as he and Sarah got up. I stood up with them but I couldn’t digest the fact that I had turned water into wine like Jesus especially when I was drunk, so I asked them one last question as they were turning to leave, “Do you guys remember how the cocktail tasted?” “It was light red in colour and had grape pulp in it, something like red wine except for the alcohol level because my whole family was on the floor after they drank your cocktail” replied Sarah following it with a loud laugh. “And buddy, this lunch is on us. It’s our way of saying thank you for being the real best man” interjected Jacob. I sat down after wishing them again and waving them goodbye as I saw Jacob and Sarah walking out of the restaurant I thought to myself, “Free food is the answer to all problems.” As I waited for Isabel to walk in through the door I had a flashback of me in the kitchen last night, I was puking in the pitcher and mixed water and ice in it and shook it well to make the reddish cocktail. After that I collapsed on the ground and everything became black.

I shook my head to come out of the flashback mode and opened my eyes to see Isabel opening the door of the restaurant, I called the waiter and said, “Excuse me, one Jack Daniels double large on the rocks please, make it quick.”

Tuesday 27 August 2013

Runaway girl

Why oh why do you run away girl,
Don’t you know you are my black pearl?
I thought it was a crush and so I backed off,
How was I supposed to know you were my laugh?
I can’t be trusted and I can’t be loved,
How do I prove that you are my beloved?
All I know is that I don’t like but I love you,
And no matter what you say I am not gonna bid adieu.

Why oh why do you run away girl,
Don’t you know you are my black pearl?
Like the sand you escape from my finger,
When I try a little bit to hold you tighter.
I know life hasn’t been easy for you,
And its fear that comes between me and you.
You fear the future and a new start,
But all I fear is breaking your heart.


Why oh why do you run away girl,
Don’t you know you are my black pearl?
I fell for you the moment I talked to you,
I know the timing is wrong but it’s true.
All I ever wanted was to keep you happy,
Because watching you smile is my new hobby.
Everybody needs love and I am crazy about you,
I guess I needed a broken heart to write something new.



Thursday 13 June 2013

I too have a dream


Scene 1:                                                   
Punjabi Dhaba is jam packed at 7:30pm on a weekday and around 20 people are standing outside the ‘restaurant’ to eat the famous butter chicken and kulcha that was popularized by Shera Singh 10 years ago. A frail boy walks to a table and places a plate of kulchas.
Customer: Aye boy! These kulchas are not hot. Get a new set.
Boy: Sir I just now made them, it has to be hot.
Customer: So you are saying that I am lying? Oye Shera paaji!
Shera Singh the owner of the dhaba came running to the table.
Shera: What happened ji? Is everything all right?
Customer: What all right ji, this boy is calling me liar. I told him to heat the kulchas and he said he won’t do it.
Boy: I never said I won’t do it I just said….
He felt a sharp pain on his left cheek before he could complete the sentence.
Shera: I am sorry ji, I will heat these kulchas myself and get them for you, in the meantime you enjoy your meal.
Shera pulls the boy to the kitchen.

Scene 2:
Shera slaps the boy once more.
Shera: Are you mad? One night I tell you to serve the kulchas and you get into a fight with the customer!
Boy: I made the kulchas just now! How could it become cold by the time it reached the table?
BAM!!! Another slap, another red cheek this time the right one and a drop of tear rolling down the boy’s eye.
Shera: Now don’t start crying otherwise the kulchas will become salty.
Shera leaves the kitchen.
Boy: I can do any work but I just hate making kulchas, I always burn my hand.
Just then he sees a knife which was used to cut the vegetables and an idea begins to form in his 10 year old mind. He picks up the knife and cuts his palm slightly but hard enough to make it bleed. He starts yelling at the top of voice to get some attention from the customers. Shera Singh runs into the kitchen.
Shera: What happened?
Boy: My hand got cut accidently (in pain).
Shera: How could you cut it so deep accidently? (Looking at the wound)
Boy: I don’t know when it happened, I just felt some wetness in my palm and when I looked I saw this. (Taking his palm closer to Shera)
Shera: Just keep your hand away from me and let me make the kulchas, you go to your room and wait for me to come. Tonight you will learn how to be careful in the kitchen.
The boy went to his room happily even though he knew his joy will be short-lived.

Scene 3
After that night the boy cut his palm at the same spot almost every day to keep his wound fresh.
After a few days
Shera: Why is your wound not healing? I have a feeling that you are doing this to yourself so that you don’t have to work.
Boy: You know what! I am. I am doing this to myself because I don’t like working here.
Shera: You don’t like working here? You break my heart son. I wanted you to run this dhaba after me but I guess you have other important things to do. Let me guess, you want to go to school?
Boy: Yes, I do.
Shera: You want to become a doctor?
Boy: No, I want to become a writer.
Shera: A writer! Yes, of course. I don’t know with what I will have to hit you to set your mind straight, but I won’t give up on you. I fed you, I gave you clothes, I gave you a new life and this is how you repay me?
Shera removed his belt and proceeded towards the boy.
Shera: Let’s see what you want to become after this session is over.
Shera starts hitting him with the belt. The boy starts wailing in pain as the belt rips his skin and he starts moving backwards, he suddenly gets up and starts running towards the entrance of the dhaba and collides with one of the customers.
Boy: Sorry sir.
Customer: What is happening beta? Is your father hitting you?
Boy: He is not my father. I just work for him.
Customer: Beta I am a police officer, is there something you want to tell me.
Boy: Sir, please rescue me. This man hits me every day and makes me do all the work in the dhaba and doesn’t even pay me.
Shera: Sir, don’t mind what he says, he is just the waiter. What would you like to have sir?
Customer: Nothing. I am going to make a call now.

Scene 4
A journalist is yelling into the camera
Journalist: A 10 year boy was being mercilessly beaten up by the owner of this famous north Indian dhaba in Coimbatore. The boy was also made to do all the work in the dhaba. The boy is now in the general hospital and the owner Mr.Shera Singh is in police custody. With cameraman Sudesh Gupta for NDTV this is Asha Mehra.

Scene 5
In the general hospital
Doctor: Move this patient to the operation theatre.
Nurse: Okay doctor.
Boy: What is happening doctor?
Doctor: Nothing beta, only a small operation.
Nurse: (Whispering) why don’t you tell him?
Doctor:  (whispering) how can I tell him that I am amputating his hand? He wants to become a writer, it will break his heart. If I don’t do this he will die. We just have to hope that he can start going to school and become whatever wants to become using his left arm.
Nurse: I don’t know how he got that wound on his palm. The owner in his confession said that he never used a knife.
Doctor: It has to be him who else would do it. But I don’t think even he knew that the knife was rusted.




       

Wednesday 29 May 2013

Contract



A middle-aged man was running in an isolated housing colony.  His bloodstained lungi was falling off and his breathlessness was echoing through the street. He knew his end was near but didn’t want to give up yet. He was constantly looking back to get a good look at his attackers, when he felt something hard hit him in the stomach. He fell to the ground without any resistance and coughed out blood. He saw the face; the same face that had haunted him for days was in front of him. As he lay motionless on the ground, his attacker asked, “Do you know the difference between men and women?” The man on the ground was too weak and tired to answer, so he just shook his head. “Men don’t like getting f….”

Sreedharan was in a hurry to get out of his house, as his boss had summoned him.“Where are you going?” asked his wife. “Have to go to the office” he replied. “But today is a Sunday” said his wife, as a matter of fact. “I know baba, but the boss is counting on me to finish some pending work” said Sreedharan. “Then would you buy the groceries on your way home?” asked his wife. “Okay, I will, just make a list and give it to me” replied Sreedharan. As soon as his wife left the room, he took out his gun from the drawer and hid it under his shirt. His wife came back with a piece of paper in her hand as Sreedharan was closing his drawer, he placed the paper in his shirt pocket and walked out of his house and got into his car.

Sreedharan was stopped at the towering gate that protected the mansion inside. A guard knocked on the tinted window of Sreedharan’s car. When Sreedharan lowered his window the guard bowed a little and said, “Namaskaram saar.” The gate was opened and Sreedharan drove his car to the entrance of the mansion. He saw Chacko sitting at the door looking tired and disheveled. Sreedharan got out of his vehicle and walked over to Chacko and touched his feet before sitting next to him. “What happened?” asked Sreedharan. Chacko looked at him with his red eyes and said, “PK left the party.” “What do you mean left the party? Were you not going to give him the ticket during the next elections?” asked Sreedharan. “Yes, we were. But he wanted to contest election this time. He knows he is the most popular man in Kannur and he doesn’t need our party to win. He joined the CPI (M).” replied Chacko. Sreedharan slid back into his chair, letting out a sigh of frustration. Everything that could go wrong before the elections had gone wrong and now the only hope that was left for his boss’ party to win the elections had also been ruined. They were counting on PK’s support to win the elections. “What do you want me to do?” asked Sreedharan. Chacko didn’t say anything; instead he just lay back in his chair. After a while, Chacko replied, “Call the boys.” In about 10 minutes, a Scorpio, driven by Sreedharan, was heading towards Fort Road where PK was campaigning. He had 10 of Chacko’s men with him whom Chacko called ‘boys’. Chacko had instructed them about the plan of action. Sreedharan was not a goon like the others with him in the car; he was just the brain behind all the “dirty work” of the party like quotation, murder, kidnapping etc. He saw himself as the leader of the goons but not a goon himself. After driving in silence for some time Sreedharan saw a fleet of white Ambassadors at some distance waiting at the traffic signal. Sreedharan explained the plan once more to the ‘boys’ and started driving again.

A Scorpio slid in front of the fleet of white Ambassadors and open fired at them through the windows of the Scorpio. The ‘boys’ got out of the Scorpio and continued shooting. A man dressed in white got out of the fourth car in the line and started running. Sreedharan saw him running off into a small street beside the main road and decided to follow him because he knew it was PK. PK was running in an isolated housing colony, his bloodstained lungi was falling off and his breathlessness was echoing through the street. He knew his end was near but didn’t want to give up yet. He was constantly looking back to get a good look at his attackers, when he felt something hard hit him in the stomach. He fell to the ground without any resistance and coughed out blood. He saw the face; the same face that had haunted him for days was in front of him. As he lay motionless on the ground, his attacker asked, “Do you know the difference between men and women?” The man on the ground was too weak and tired to answer, so he just shook his head. “Men don’t like getting fucked” said Sreedharan with a gun pointed at him. A trigger was pressed and a loud gunshot was heard.  Sreedharan slumped to the ground as the police came running accompanied by Chacko. The constables picked up PK from the ground who was critically injured in the firing earlier. “Now do you understand why I told you to remain in our party?” asked Chacko with his eyes moist with glycerin. “CPI (M) was trying to get you killed to show us in poor light and get sympathy votes and this was the goon they hired”, he continued. “I thought he worked for you” said PK. “Everyone has a price PK”, said Chacko. “Learn politics first then you can become a minister” continued Chacko as PK started coughing out more blood as he was lifted and placed in the ambulance. Chacko waited for the ambulance to speed away after which he took out some money from his pocket and placed it on Sreedharan’s dead body and said, “I am a man of my word", saying so he walked to his car and phoned the "boys".


Tuesday 14 May 2013

Last Day


The sun is rising through the black sky,
And so is the flame from the ground.
The earth is home to people, who want to die
 But they can’t because they are bound.
People explode with shouts and cries
Still nobody pays attention,
They open their mouths to utter lies
And there is nobody to show compassion.

The hot sun throws light on the wounded
And the night breeze is long gone,
The streets are overcrowded
with the bones of the unborn.
The sun shines with full intensity
and burns the soul of the wicked.
What is left is a burnt city,
And empty cars with parking ticket.

Every home is filled with people,
watching the television like a panel.
They bite their nails and their eyes twinkle,
when they see the same person on every channel.
Some want to know his name and some his position,
And some want to know his place of birth.
They know but have not yet taken a decision,
But they know he is the king of the earth.

An army of beautiful fairies erupt from the sky,
Singing and shouting in other tongues.
They tear the sun and through it they fly
to save the lowest of the rogues.
The master of the fairies comes on the ground
and invites the people on his chariot.
 Television has got the people bound,
And they call him Judas Iscariot.

The master welcomes the wounded and weary,
Who lie on the ground in their own blood.
The people come but the master becomes fiery,
He asks, “Where are the others I raised from this mud?”
 The people shift their gaze and remain mum,
As the master looks upwards, sorry for the promise he kept.
Why do you forsake me? Can’t with me you come?
 A tear trickled down his face and that day he wept. 

Saturday 20 April 2013

Alone


I walk on a deserted path in the middle of a desert,
walking aimlessly in search for water.
I see the shadows of skirts and shirt,
but I can’t see those who matter.
Recognition is to me what water is to the mouth,
I can’t hear the echo of my last applause.
I think I lost my voice, I can’t even shout.
I can still think but my mind is full of chaos.

I live aimlessly, doing what is told.
I feel my spine but feel like a spineless wreck.
I walk in a desert but I still feel cold,
I work so hard, yet don’t have a cheque.
Heat is the pressure surrounding me,
And cactus is the words of my folks.
I smile and laugh to appear full of glee,
but my soul is crushed by your mocks.

The light is vanishing as the sun goes down,
I lose all hope and hear the scorpions crawl.
In the darkest night I wait for my heart to moan,
Is when a smoke from the ground comes up in a ball,
It takes me high into the clouds with my voice on fire,
The heat inside me melts the cold outside,
I see my wishes come true and so do my heart’s desire,
my mind shifts phases like a high tide.

I spent all night twisting and turning,
thinking of the world beyond.
The sun rose in my face, early in the morning,
to show me water in a pond.
I realized the night was a dream,
so I ran faster than my cologne,
to the water that was a mirage of steam.
I screamed and shouted at myself, because I was all alone.

Monday 8 April 2013

War


The nation was at war with the enemy beside,
and the year was nineteen ninety-nine.
He rushed out of his home, keeping his wife aside.
“Oh sprint not my beloved for you are all mine,
Do not leave me today, you can go tonight”, said his wife.
“Worry not my darling, nothing will happen,
I will protect my country and not play with my life.”
He walked away and didn’t turn to see his wife’s cheeks dampen.

The war began with all its might,
and bodies were stored up in a heap.
He missed his lovely wife and wrote her letters at night,
but during the day he carried supplies in his jeep.
The lonely woman was scared to jitters,
as she was looked upon by all with lustful eyes.
Her day was made when she received her husband’s letters,
but when a man looked at her she ran away like mice.

She slowly began trusting in her own beauty,
and started to play the harlot because of her fame.
When she missed him, her eyes became misty,
but she couldn’t stop her evil ways, as she loved the game.
She soon became an adulterous wife,
and enjoyed it as she saw her body burn.
She continued to tiptoe on the edge of a knife,
but realized her folly before she saw him return.

He was taken aback by her actions,
his mind was shattered just like his body.
“Why do you do this my love, why this sudden diffraction?
You have lost your beauty and all you are now is gaudy.”
She said, “You promised you will be with me forever and ever,
please don’t go away, I can’t bear another war.”
“I never stopped loving you, and I will forever,
you will be my first love, but I am not in love anymore.”

Monday 25 March 2013

If I die today


                                           If I die today



If I die today, will anyone care?
Will anyone cry, or be able to bear?
Will my friends go in May?
Or will they pray for a holiday?
Will my special one shed a tear?
Or like the past shadow will she get a beer?
Will my teachers stop teaching?
Or will they waste their time advising?

If I die today, will anyone care?
Will anyone cry, or be able to bear?
Will the earth stop and see the stars twinkle?
Or will they start digging with a golden sickle?
I have heard what you sow is what you reap,
Then why is it that I die in the midst of this heap?
Will my country change if I die?
Or will they keep letting crime get high?

If I die today, will anyone care?
Will anyone cry, or be able to bear?
Will my mother be numb or will she go mad?
Will my father keep playing or will he feel bad?
Will a book be written or a movie be made out of my life?
What will happen to the tall girl supposed to be my wife?
Will God forgive me for what I have done?
Or will he send me to hell with my head on the gun?

No, I won’t die today,
I will overcome this and die another day.
There are many stories to be told and many hearts to be won,
battles to be faced and work to be done.
But still a question remains in my mind,
It sounds silly but is one of a kind,
If I die today, will anyone care?
Will anyone cry, or be able to bear?





Friday 15 March 2013

Trance


                                                                     TRANCE

Bansal was walking swiftly towards his office. His colleague Ramu cornered him on the way and dumped a large bundle of files into his hands. Bansal was a senior officer in the CBI headquarters in Delhi. He had worked in the police force for 30 years now and had only 3 months to retire. “You have to sign all these papers now” said Ramu. “Okay, but I might take time. I am going to prep the new guy” replied Bansal as he carried on to his office. He entered his office and kept the new set of files with the existing dump on his table. He sat on his chair and told the guy standing opposite to him to take a seat. He opened a file placed before him and said, “Sub-Inspector Avinash Verma huh? I went through your files yesterday and the level of your involvement in the Nithari killings was the only reason I selected you in my team which is investigating this case”. “Thank you sir” replied Avinash. “You are going to start work from today onwards. You will be in charge of the evidence and witness protection. Since you are new to the functioning of a high profile team like ours, I can’t send you to the field right now” said Bansal. “That’s okay sir, I just want to make myself useful” said Avinash. “Good, now you can go out and meet Inspector Ramu who will brief you about your work in the office and answer all your questions. All the best!” said Bansal as he stood up and shook hands with Avinash. After Avinash left the room Bansal switched on the t.v and started signing the files one by one. A breaking news report was being telecast on CNN-IBN. A group of well known psychologists and politicians were debating on the Nithari killings. Bansal looked at the tv with disgust,” All they do is yap, I bet none of them has the balls to even look at the photos of the crime scene” he said. Just then Ramu came into the room to tell Bansal that he had told Avinash about his work and everything related to his work when he glanced at the tv. “You should not be watching such shows, it might get you worked up” said Ramu. “If it hadn’t been for those dirty politicians I would have become DGP at least by now” replied Bansal. “Hey, it’s over buddy. This is your last case so let your last case be a slap to their faces” said Ramu. “Thanks Ramu. By the way, the next hearing on the case is next week so tell the new boy to start his work” said Bansal. “I have already told him everything, take it easy. You need to go home and get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day with the press conference and Commissioner visit coming up” said Ramu. “Okay, as you say boss to-be” said Bansal as he picked up his coat and patted Ramu on his back on his way out of the office.

With 5 days left for the Supreme Court hearing the mood in the CBI headquarters was tense. Bansal had to work late nights and had to live on coffee and biscuit packets kept in his office. One such night when Bansal was working intensely in his office he heard some noise outside his room. He got up from his chair and slowly opened the door. He saw light in Avinash’s office. He was packing up his belongings after being in the office for 18 hours straight. Bansal didn’t move from his spot as he was carefully observing Avinash. After packing his suitcase he picked up a small box in his hand and left his office not noticing the hidden figure in Bansal’s office. Bansal remembered seeing a confidential mark on the box. He was apprehensive of the sudden inclusion of Avinash in the team and now he was all the more suspicious of his activities. He switched off his light and locked his office and decided to follow Avinash. He jogged down the hallway and signed in the register as he saw Avinash taking a U-turn in his black Lancer. He waited for his car to go a few meters ahead of the main entrance of the building and then bolted out of the door, unlocked his Skoda and dived into the driver’s seat to catch up with Avinash. Initially it was tough to follow Avinash as he was driving slowly but when he picked up pace it became easier for Bansal to follow him. Avinash drove till Connaught place and parked his car in front of Zen bar. Bansal parked his car 100 meters behind the Lancer and saw Avinash entering the bar. He decided to wait for Avinash to come back. Bansal was tense and his tension was only increasing as each minute passed. Finally, after 10 minutes of torturous waiting he couldn’t take it anymore. He got out of his car and walked towards the bar. After entering the bar it took a few seconds for him to get used to dimness inside the bar. As he scanned the whole bar with his eyes, a waiter came up to him and asked,” Sir, table for one?” “No, I was looking for my friend who asked me to meet him here. Do you remember seeing anyone wearing a coat and carrying a briefcase? He might have come around 10-15 minutes back” asked Bansal. “No sir, I have been standing at the door since 9:45pm and my turn will end in another 5 minutes but I don’t remember anybody carrying a briefcase” replied the waiter. “Can you please check once more? It’s a very important matter that we need to discuss” said Bansal. “Sure sir, let me take a round and come” replied the waiter. After 5 minutes the waiter returned and shook his head with a smile on his face. Bansal was disappointed at having come so close yet losing Avinash and suspicious of the waiter. As he came out with a long face Bansal was shocked to see that the black Lancer had vanished. He ran towards the spot where it was parked, but there was no sign of it ever being there. All this was too much excitement for the old man and he didn’t have the energy to pursue this investigation any further tonight. But he had made up his mind to question Avinash the next day.
Bansal couldn’t sleep all night, so he came to the office early. He went and checked in Avinash’s office but it was locked. He roamed around the office like a mad man not knowing what to do. He settled down in his chair deciding to go through Avinash’s file. At 9am Ramu opened Bansal’s office after knocking twice. Bansal was sleeping on the file drooling all over it. Ramu walked over to his desk and shook him till he opened his eyes wide and stretched. He suddenly remembered the events of last night. He jumped out of his seat and ran past Ramu to check on Avinash. He saw him working in his office. Ramu came up to Bansal and pulled him back to his office. “What is the matter with you? I know when something is bothering you” said Ramu. “This time it is someone” replied Bansal. “Just like the old times huh?” asked Ramu. “Not quite. I saw Avinash carrying a package marked confidential last night after everyone had left the building. I followed him to a bar in Connaught place. After entering the bar he just disappeared” replied Bansal. After a long pause Ramu said, “What do you want me to do?” “Do a background check on him and check all of his files and record. I want to know him better than I know my son” said Bansal. Ramu saluted Bansal and swiftly walked out of the room. After 15 minutes Ramu came back into Bansal’s office. “Promise me you will stay calm and not shoot that guy” said Ramu as soon as he entered the room. “Why? What happened?” asked Bansal. “That guy is a fake. It took me less than 30 seconds to find that out after entering his name in the database. According to our records this guy has been dead for the last 5 years” said Ramu. Bansal was dumbfounded when he heard this. “This thing has to be dealt with immediately Ramu and I don’t want to make this public. This guy has made the whole police force and the CBI a laughing stock. I will be sacked for this” said Bansal. “Listen to the whole thing first. I called the police station from where he got transferred here” said Ramu. “And?” asked Bansal in an irritated tone. “The inspector on duty, Ashish Singh told me Avinash used to work there. But after he died, Ashish got transferred there. He said he will check the old files and call me” said Ramu. Just then his phone started ringing. “Hello” answered Ramu after picking up the phone and putting it on loudspeaker so that Bansal could listen. “Sir, its Ashish speaking” replied the voice on the phone. “Yes Ashish, I was waiting for your call. Did u find anything interesting?” asked Ramu. “Not much sir, I found Avinash’s file among some old records here. All that is written here is that Avinash was found dead under mysterious circumstances in a bar” replied Ashish. “Ask him which bar” whispered Bansal to Ramu. “Is the name of the bar given?” asked Ramu. “Wait a minute sir, I had just seen the name somewhere. Here it is, Zen bar in Connaught place, Delhi” replied Ashish. Bansal fell back on his chair, he had heard enough. “Sir, the case is still under investigation but it has reached dead end. Even this file was dusty and almost ruined when I found it. But there is one interesting fact or myth about this case which I don’t think is even related to the case” said Ashish. This caught the attention of both Bansal and Ramu. “What is it?” asked Ramu. “I asked the head constable about this case as he and Avinash got transferred here at the same time. He told me that 2 constables had died after seeing dreams about Avinash” said Ashish. “What kind of dreams? And how did the constables die?” asked Ramu. “I don’t know about their deaths sir. The head constable told me all this. Personally, I think all these are myths. I have been working here for a long time now and I haven’t heard about or had dreams about this guy” said Ashish. Bansal nudged Ramu to ask more questions but he saw the futility in asking anything and thanked Ashish for his help before keeping the phone. “Don’t be so worried sir, it’s just a case of someone impersonating someone to get something. Let’s go confront this guy and sort everything out” said Ramu trying to reassure Bansal. “What if someone comes to know?” asked Bansal. “Just come with me sir, nothing will happen” said Ramu as he pulled Bansal out of his chair. Both of them walked briskly towards Avinash’s office. Both of them walked into his office and locked it from inside. When they faced him he was looking at the ceiling with smile on his face. “You have some questions to answer Avinash” said Ramu in a menacing tone. Avinash looked down at Ramu, he raised his finger and started humming, “Inkey pinkey ponkey….”. Both Ramu and Bansal looked at each other, perplexed at Avinash’s behavior. “What the fuck is this Avinash? You can’t get ot of this” said Ramu at the top of his voice as Avinas continued his chants. “donkey died father cried inkey pinkey ponkey. There is a way out Ramu, but not for me, for you” said Avinash with his finger pointed at Bansal. A sharp noise filled the atmosphere at that precise moment; Bansal turned left and right and rolled on the ground as the sound filled his head. His eyes and ears were paining and suddenly he jumped up and opened his eyes. And he woke up………

Bansal looked at the clock as it said 7am. Ramu his house help was filling tea in a cup for his master with his back towards his master. “That was a weird dream that I was having. Thank God it’s 7” said Bansal as he stretched on the bed. “Awww… did my baby get up? Let’s put my darling back to sleep” said Ramu as he turned towards Bansal. Bansal looked at Ramu’s face and stopped breathing, his eyes filled with fear as Avinash came up to him and kept his hand on Bansal’s head.

 Ramu ran from his room and seeing Mrs.Bansal sitting in the front lawn ran up to her and asked her, “memsahib, where is sahib?”. “What do you mean where is sahib? You didn’t wake up in the morning and make tea for us. I had to get up and make tea and your sahib didn’t wake up also even after I shook him for 5 minutes. I don’t know how you wake him up everyday” said Mrs.Bansal. Ramu didn’t wait for her to finish and ran inside the house as Mrs.Bansal kept on yelling behind him. 

Friday 1 March 2013

Speedball


Speedball

In a dimly lit room sat Akshay leaning against the wall and rocking himself. He was talking to himself, his face was full of bruises and his eyeballs were continuously rolling.

Kunal spread out the newspaper and emptied the contents of the packet onto it. Akshay was cooking in the kitchen when he remembered that he had to take the vegetables out of the fridge. On his way to the fridge, he saw Kunal crushing something in the newspaper, so he went and stood beside Kunal and asked, “Is this what I think it is?” “Yes my boy, this is the best marijuana you will get in Texas. Did you know that weed worth 3 billion dollars is illegally transported every year from New Mexico to Texas. Won’t it be a waste of money and weed if people like us don’t buy it?” said Kunal with a grin. “Us? Please don’t include me in this Kunal. I am not going to do drugs", replied Akshay. “Don’t call marijuana a drug, it’s an insult. It’s a medicine.  It gives you superpowers”, said Kunal. “Oh really? Then why is it banned?” asked Akshay. “Some drugs are stimulants, some are depressants, and some are hallucinogens, but marijuana is a mix of everything. It helps manifest your real self but the society doesn’t want to see the real you. The things you see when you are high are the things people don’t want you to see”, said Kunal. “Yeah, I wonder if you can say the same thing when this poison kills you, but I have to say, that’s a really great philosophy”, replied Akshay. “No one in the history of the world has died of taking marijuana, you dumbass. You can’t die of a fucking marijuana overdose.  It’s the equivalent of crushing any leaf and smoking it, plus it makes you hungry like shit dude”, continued Kunal. “I know the food I make tastes like shit but you don’t need weed to bear with it”, replied Akshay. “You think I am doing this to eat? Come on bro, you know I need a better reason”, said Kunal. “Okay, what's the reason?” asked Akshay. “I like it. In fact I love it”, replied Kunal, and went back to crushing the marijuana.

The door opened and in walked Natalie. “What the fuck? Somebody call the ambulance”, she screamed running out of the room. “No! don’t call the police, they will put me in jail”, said Akshay in a faint voice trying to get up and then fell down on the ground.

“Dude, why am I getting so fidgety?” asked Akshay. “I don’t know, but even I am feeling a little different”, replied Kunal. “Whom did you get this stuff from?” asked Akshay. “I got it from Jeff yesterday” replied Kunal. “Shit!” said Akshay. “I always get it from him dude, what the fuck is the matter with you?” asked Kunal. “It’s not that you fool, mom is calling”, replied Akshay. “Tell her I am not here”, said Kunal and ran to the kitchen and stood at the door. Akshay, not knowing what to do, just picked up the call.  “Hi mom! How are you?” asked Akshay. “Why did you take so much time to pick up the phone?” asked his mom. “What mom? If I pick up you ask why I took so much time to pick up the phone and if I don’t pick it up you think I am avoiding you”, replied Akshay. “Okay! Okay! let it be, how are your studies going?” asked his mom. “It’s going fine mom, as usual. How are you and dad?” asked Akshay. “We are fine. How is your brother keeping?” asked his mom. “He is also fine mom”, replied Akshay. “Why doesn’t he pick up my calls then? Is he around?” asked his mom. “No mom he is out with his friends, studying for the big test coming up”, replied Akshay. “Tell me the truth Akshay, is he on drugs?” asked his mom. “Mom! What are you saying? Kunal? And drugs? You know I will tell you if he does something like that, right?” asked Akshay. “Yes. Just take care of yourselves, especially Kunal.  It’s his final year”, said his mom. “Okay mom, you take care, bye”, replied Akshay and cut the call before his mom could ask anything else. Kunal came out of the kitchen and said, “How was it?” “Same as usual ‘how are you’ ‘are you on drugs’ shit”, replied Akshay.

“I just got off the phone with Jeff” said Kunal. “And?” asked Akshay. “Nothing to worry about, it’s just weed mixed with coke”, replied Kunal. “What? Are you serious? Why didn’t he tell you before?” asked Akshay. “Surprise?” said Kunal sheepishly. “And I talked to mom after having cocaine. Shit man! I will definitely rot in hell”, said Akshay snatching the joint from Kunal’s hand.

Akshay got up from the ground after hearing the siren. “Oh my God! The cops are here. What do I do?” he asked himself loudly. “What do I do? They will definitely see the needle mark and know what I did”, he continued, barely able to stand. “But if I cut my arm and flush out all the blood from my body they will have no evidence to put me in jail”, said Akshay with a big smile on his face. He saw his parents sitting on the bed and went near to them, “Should I do it?” he asked. Both of them nodded their heads in unison. Then he went to the lifeless body of Kunal and asked, “Will it pain?” Kunal didn’t reply and lied still.

“Dude, are you coming for the graduation party tonight, at Natalie’s?” asked Kunal. “What will I do over there? I don’t know anybody”, replied Akshay. “You know Natalie. She told me especially to get you because she wants you to meet someone”, said Kunal. “Are you trying to hook me up?” asked Akshay. “And Jeff will also be there and he told me that he is gonna get something that will blow you away. But if you are not coming then I should call him and tell him not to get it”, said Kunal. “Say no more brother, now nobody can stop me from coming”, said Akshay. That night Akshay and Kunal went to Natalie’s house for the party. “This party is so boring man.  Where the fuck is Jeff anyway?” asked Akshay. “He just texted me saying he’s on top. Come let’s go on top, maybe he is in Natalie’s bedroom”, replied Kunal. They entered Natalie’s bedroom and saw Jeff sit on the ground with a joint in his hand. “Don’t tell me I came here only to try a new kind of weed”, said Akshay, throwing his hands up in the air. “Relax dude, the stuff is in my pocket”, replied Jeff. “Take it out man, and the needles”, said Kunal. “Okay, okay, don’t rush me. Here is the needle, the spoon, and the packet. I hope one of you has a lighter and is wearing a belt”, said Jeff. “Yeah, we all have that”, said Akshay and grabbed all the things from Jeff’s hand. Kunal handed Jeff a $100 bill and escorted him to the door. “Have a little bit and enjoy the high and when you feel better come out and rock this fucking party a li'l' bit”, said Jeff. “Yeah, sure buddy.  By the way, what is this stuff?” asked Kunal. “It’s called speedball.  A little bit of crack, a little bit of meth, and lot of heroin gives you a speedball” said Jeff with a grin and looked at Akshay tying the belt on his arm before closing the door behind him.